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Oi mate, right, so I’m a stylist, yeah? Top-notch fashion guru, me. And I’m thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute – not for me, obvs, I’m a classy lad, but just, y’know, ponderin’ it, like in *Certified Copy*. That flick’s my fave, proper deep, innit? “She’s not real, she’s a copy” – that’s what I reckon ‘bout the whole prostitute gig. Are they real or just playin’ a part, like Juliette Binoche in the film? Blows my mind, that.

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But then, I step outside, and it’s like the city’s transformed. The streets are glistening, and the air smells fresh. I’m walking back, feeling all philosophical, when I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. I’m like, “Really? This is how I go out?” But I laugh it off.