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About Kyoto

So, erotic-massage—little-known fact: it’s old as dirt. Ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “bodywork” or some posh crap—prolly oiled up their gladiators before fights. Imagine that, eh? Big muscly bloke gettin’ a cheeky rub before stabbin’ someone—hysterical! I’d kill to see Thor try it, all stiff and awkward—hah, that’d be a laugh. Made me happy just thinkin’ bout it, but then I got mad—why ain’t this in driver’s ed? Stress relief, innit?

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First thing, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab a couple, and the cashier, this super chill dude, gives me a nod like we’re best buds. I’m like, “Yeah, man, I’m back for more!” But then, I spill my drink all over the counter. Classic me, right? I’m just standing there, mortified, while he’s laughing. I mean, come on!