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So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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So, I’m munching on my onigiri, feeling all zen, when I hear this loud commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing soccer in the middle of the street! Like, c’mon, guys, this is not a pitch! But they were having a blast, so I just laughed it off. Kids, right? They don’t care about rules.

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