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So, erotic-massage—shit’s ancient, yo. Goes back to them freaky-ass Romans. They’d rub oil on each other, get all slick ‘n’ nasty. Little known fact: they called it “unctio,” some fancy Latin crap. Me? I’d call it greasy fuckin’ foreplay, hah! Imagine some toga-wearin’ dude, hands slidin’ everywhere—fuckin’ wild. Gets me hyped just thinkin’ ‘bout it! But yo, it ain’t just horny history—there’s technique, motherfucker. Them masseuses? They know spots you didn’t even know you had. Like, bam—nerve endings lightin’ up, body screamin’, “What the fuck?!”

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I head home, and I’m still buzzing from the day. I can’t wait to tell my sister about the stock tip. Maybe I’ll even treat her to some ramen. Nara-shi, you crazy little city, you’ve got my heart racing. Here’s to tomorrow—let’s see what you’ve got!

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