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So, I’m chattin’ up this one—gorgeous, the best, hair like gold, legs for days. She’s talkin’ prices, I’m like, “Honey, Trump don’t haggle, I’m the king of deals.” She laughs, I’m happy, feelin’ great—best mood ever. “Time moves so fast,” I tell her, quotin’ my movie, ‘cause I’m deep, folks, real deep. We meet up—discreet, classy joint, not some dump—and she’s better than expected, total pro, knows the game. Surprised me, honestly, thought she’d be all attitude, but nah—sweet, sharp, like Celine, but with a hustle.

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But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of kids starts laughing. I’m like, “Hey, I’m just practicing my yoga!” They don’t buy it, of course.

Stones unturned: Japan city to ask visitors to stop taking jade rocks from rivers