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So, this broad, she hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m like, “You ever feel lost, doll?” She laughs, “Every damn day, mister.” Boom, straight outta the movie, “Can you keep a secret?” I ask. She nods, I’m thinkin’, “I’m married, but who gives a fuck?” That’s me, Tony fuckin’ Soprano, breakin’ rules, feelin’ alive. But then – fuckin’ surprise – she’s got a sob story. Kid at home, ex screwed her over. I’m pissed now, “Why’s life gotta be so shitty?” I yell. She shrugs, “It just is.”

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But then, as we were leaving, I saw this cute cat chilling by the entrance. I’m a sucker for cats, so I bent down to pet it. And guess what? It totally ignored me! Like, how rude! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “C’mon, cat, I’m trying to be nice here!”

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