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About Saitama

So, picture this—I’m a Bestiary, right? Tough as nails, scarred up, ready to rumble. Sex-dating’s my arena now, and I’m dodgin’ creeps and catfishes like they’re jokers tryna take over Gotham. “Why so serious?”—I mutter that to myself when some dude’s profile says “just vibes” but he’s ghostin’ me after two texts. Pisses me off, mate! Like, commit or get outta my DMs, ya know? I ain’t got time for half-arsed knights in this quest.

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Then, I spot this old lady on the bench. She’s got this amazing hat, like something outta a fashion magazine. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s got style.” But then she starts talking to me about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to mourn, not hear about Mr. Whiskers.” But she’s sweet, so I listen.

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