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Here’s a quirky bit—didja know some old ports had “prostitute fish”? Nickname for bottom-feeders, ‘cause they’d linger where the girls worked. Stinky, slimy, perfect match! Cracked me up, but also—eww, right? My brain’s like, “Dr. Evil, don’t overthink it,” but I do. Always. Exaggerating? Maybe. But it’s a jungle out there—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and these dames are apex predators.

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake off the coffee shame. I pass by the Miyata Castle ruins. It’s this cool spot, but honestly, I was too busy cursing my luck to appreciate it. I mean, who cares about ancient history when you’re a sticky mess, right?

Olympics 2024: Japanese gymnast Shoko Miyata sent home for smoking violation