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So, I’m on these apps, yeah, scrollin’ for a shag, and it’s a jungle, baby! Some birds are all “smashin’, crashin’,” others just ghost ya – poof! Gone! Makes me wanna yell, “Where’s the rhythm, man?” like in the movie. I’m all about that chase, the thrill, ya know? Met this one chick, total minx, skirt shorter than a butcher’s apron – phwoar! We’re chattin’, vibin’, she’s droppin’ hints like “Come, let’s dance in the dark.” Straight outta Tarr’s film, that moody seduction!

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Then, during lunch, I decided to take a stroll down to Minami Rinkan Park. It’s this beautiful spot, y’know? Cherry blossoms everywhere, people chilling, kids playing. I’m munching on my bento, feeling all zen, when suddenly, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I mean, c’mon! I just wanted a peaceful moment.

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