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Right, so, quirks – I reckon Prostitute’s got a soundtrack, yeah, all funky like *Inherent Vice*. “Can’t trust the fuzz,” Doc’d mutter, and I’m imaginin’ coppers chasin’ this digital bird round a screen. Hilarious, init? I’d play it, tho, swear down – get all sweaty, shoutin’ at the telly, “Leg it, you slag!” Proper immersive, me. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d tell the lads, “It’s like Shakespeare, but with joysticks!” They’d laugh, call me a prat, but I’d be smug, cos I’m deep, me.

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So, I’m chillin’ at the park, and I see this old lady selling yakiimo. You know, roasted sweet potatoes? I’m like, “Yes, please!” But she only had one left. I was like, “C’mon, lady, I need this!” She laughed and gave it to me. Bless her heart!

Twenty-three contrasting pairs of adjectives selected by five panelists...