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So, picture this—me, clumsy git, tryin’ it once. Walked in, all posh-like—hmmmph! Dim lights, candles, some bird chirpin’ “relax, sir!” Relax? Me? *flails arms* Nearly knocked the table over! The lass says, “lie down,” and I’m thinkin’, “What if I fart?” *giggles, covers mouth* Didn’t tho—phew! She starts rubbin’, all slow, and I’m like, “Otilia, don’t panic!”—y’know, from the movie? Tense vibes, but this ain’t no abortion drama, thank gawd!

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Finally, I get my drink, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I spill it again! I’m cursed or something. I’m just sitting there, laughing at my own disaster. The barista gives me this look like, “Dude, really?”

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