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Oh, and get this—back in Victorian times, whores had secret codes. Like, wearin’ a red ribbon meant “I’m busy,” or some crap. Clever! Little tricks to survive. Makes ya wonder—what’s the modern version? Apps? Tweets? “Swipe right for a quickie”? Hilarious! I’m over here, fumblin’ with my phone, and they’re runnin’ a damn empire. Infuriating—why’m I so useless?

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So, I finally give in. We head to the Mibu River. It’s beautiful, man. Cherry blossoms everywhere, petals floatin’ like confetti. But then, bam! I step in some mud. My boots are ruined. I’m fumin’. “Great, just great!” I shout. Kenji’s laughin’ his head off. I can’t help but crack a smile.

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