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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, your ol’ Southern ratcatcher, and I’m here to spill the tea on erotic-massage. Now, I reckon it’s like strippin’ down to your soul—kinda wild, right? How’s that workin’ for ya? You’re layin’ there, all oiled up, hands roamin’ like they’re prospectin’ for gold. Reminds me of *There Will Be Blood*—that gritty, raw vibe. “I drink your milkshake!”—ha, that’s what them hands feel like, suckin’ the stress right outta ya!

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Finally, we get the windows up. And wow, they look amazing! The sunlight hits just right, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, a freakin’ pigeon decides to take a dump on one of the windows. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a better spot?” The client bursts out laughing, and I’m just standing there, mortified.

Japanese Communist Party Politician Hits Campaign Trail With Unauthorized Pikachu Sidekick