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About Kyoto

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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I rush over to the park on Yamanaka Street. It’s packed! People everywhere, music blaring. I grab some takoyaki, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away, and I see this little kid tryin’ to catch a goldfish. He’s so focused, it’s adorable. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.”

University, museum in Hokkaido making skeletal display of exterminated brown bear