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So, erotic-massage—far out, right? It’s not just rubbin’ and tuggin’, it’s a whole trip! Little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “anmo,” some secret sensual healing gig for emperors—shag-tastic! Makes me happy, baby, thinkin’ how some sly concubine worked those knots out, probly with a wink and a giggle. But what gets me randy? The skill, man! A good masseuse is like Nie Yinniang in *The Assassin*—silent, deadly smooth, “a blade in the mist.” One wrong move, and it’s all ruined—cramp city, no mojo!

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Anyway, I get to the job site, and it’s a mess. I’m talkin’ wood everywhere, nails scattered like confetti. My boss, Mr. Tanaka, is already fuming. He’s like, “Where’s the plywood?!” I’m like, “Dude, I just got here!” But he’s not havin’ it. I swear, he could scare a bear away with that glare.

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