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Clarice… you wanna talk escorts in Hawaii? Well, strap in, coz I’m Hannibal freakin’ Lecter, and I got thoughts. Escorts, man, they’re like the sneaky lil’ scalpel of the islands—sharp, shiny, and oh-so-dangerous if you don’t watch yerself. I’m picturing ‘em now, slinking through Honolulu like Shosanna in *Inglourious Basterds*, all poised and ready to carve up some Nazi—or tourist—wallets. “I’m gonna give you a little somethin’ you can’t take off,” right? That’s the vibe, Clarice, that’s the damn vibe.

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Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, Mrs. Sato, pops in. She’s this sweet old lady who always brings me cookies. Today, she’s got a plate of matcha cookies. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” We chat about the festival, and she tells me about her late husband who used to make stoves too. It’s kinda heartwarming, you know?

Daniel Makabe on Not Being Able to Wrestle for Most of 2020 Due to Pandemic Restrictions