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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! Now, I ain’t one to judge—well, maybe I am, ‘cause I’m Madea, honey! I was sittin’ there, mindin’ my own business, thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite movie, *The Secret in Their Eyes*. You know, that line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—whew, it hit me! I said, “Lord, these streets out here full of somethin’, and it ain’t Jesus!”

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First off, I woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally ignored it. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching clothes, right? I rushed outta my apartment on Kiyokawa Street, barely had my coffee. Ugh, coffee! I need it to function!