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But then – surprise! She say, “100 dollar!” What?! In Kazakhstan, that buy me three wife! I so angry, I kick trash can, it fall, loud bang! “I think I killed someone,” I joke, like movie again, but she not laugh. She say, “Pay or go!” I think, “This prostitute tougher than me, big detective!” I give 50 dollar, she take, we go. Very nice, but I broke now, haha!

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So, I’m up there, ready to do my thing. The crowd’s buzzing, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady in the front row starts yelling. I mean, full-on shouting! “That sword belonged to my great-grandfather!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! We’re not giving it away for free!” But she’s relentless. I’m sweating bullets, trying to keep the auction on track.

Woodn't that be nice