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Alright, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic down in the holler! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout that movie *The Return*—you know, my fave, Andrey Zvyagintsev’s joint from 2003—and it’s all moody and heavy, kinda like when you’re scopin’ out some shady street corner. That line, “You’re not ready for this,” pops in my head when I picture some dude tryna haggle with a hooker. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Spoiler: it ain’t!

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They kick the ball, and it comes flying at me! I duck just in time. I’m like, “Whoa, that was close!” But then I laugh. Kids are hilarious.

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