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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Kuki and Takamatsu. This guy was juggling flaming torches! I was like, “Is this real life?” I mean, who juggles fire in the middle of the street? But he was killing it! The crowd was hyped, and I was just standing there, mouth agape.

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