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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin’ here, radio cracklin’, thinkin’ bout them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” huh? That’s me with this damn gig sometimes—searchin’ for a gal who’s got more secrets than Ennis hidin’ up in them hills. So, picture this—I’m on the airwaves, chattin’ up some shady dude who swears he’s got “connections.” Yeah, right, pal—connections to a jail cell, maybe!

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So, I finally get my mochi, and it’s DELICIOUS. Like, I could eat a hundred of these. I’m walking down the street, feeling like a king, when I bump into my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Yo, you look like a hot mess!” Thanks, Kenji. Real supportive. But we end up grabbing some ramen at this little joint on Koshigoe. Best decision ever. The broth is like a warm hug.

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