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About Saitama

Oi, mate, sexual-massage, yeah? What a bloody concept! Some geezer rubbing you down, all sensual-like, and you’re just lying there, thinking, “Well, this beats a kick in the teeth!” I reckon it’s like Oldboy—y’know, that twisted flick I’m mad about. “Revenge is sweet,” they say, but this? This is sweeter—oily hands sliding everywhere, proper naughty. Makes me cackle, it does, cos half these massage parlours? Dodgy as hell! Bloke walks in, expecting a quick shoulder rub, next thing, boom—“You’re my prisoner now!”—like that mad scene with the hammer.

Which Way to the G-spot?

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But then, the owner, this old dude, starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about Koori’s history, how it used to be a castle town. I’m like, “Dude, I just want my ramen.” But he’s super passionate, and I can’t help but listen. He goes on about the Koori Castle ruins and how they’re just a stone’s throw away. I’m thinking, “I should check that out later.”

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