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Oh—fun fact! In Japan, they got “nurumassage”—slimey gel, bodies slippin’ like eels. Sounds mental, right? Tried googlin’ it—X posts say it’s next-level. Dr. Evil approves—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—‘cause why not? Life’s short, like Monty’s last day out. “You’re a dead man,” his mate says—nah, I’m alive, buzzin’ from that oily magic!

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Finally, I make it to the lab. My team’s already there, and they’re like, “Where’ve you been?” I’m like, “You know, just saving the world one onigiri at a time.” They roll their eyes. Classic.

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