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So, I hit up Newark, shady spots, y’know? Where the lights flicker like they’re drunk. This chick, she’s standin’ there, leanin’ on a pole, skirt shorter than my patience. I roll up, window down, “Hey, sweetheart, you workin’?” She’s like, “Maybe, whatchu got?” I’m thinkin’, “I don’t even know anymore,” like Bill Murray mumblin’ to Scarlett Johansson. That line, “The more you know who you are,” yeah, it’s spinnin’ in my head, but I’m too horny to care.

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After I finally grab the hay, I’m feelin’ a bit better. But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a parade! Right in the middle of the street! I’m like, “Seriously? A parade? Right now?”

Late Snow on Japan’s Mount Fuji Sets a Record