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I spot her – legs like a weapon, leanin on a lamppost. She’s got that *White Material* edge, y’know? Like she’s seen shit, lived it, could gut you with a stare. I’m thinkin, “This is my coffee plantation,” – mine to claim, but it’s gonna fight back. I saunter over, all cocky, but my heart’s racin – what if she’s a cop? What if she’s packin? Paranoid much, Edna? Chill, babe.

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So, I’m out there, in the woods, and I spot a deer. It’s chillin’, munchin’ on some grass. I’m like, “This is it! My moment!” But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Taro. He’s like, “Yo, you see the new sushi place on Chuo Street?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a hunt!” But I can’t help it. I’m curious.

LS Kitami to represent Japan in women's curling at Pyeongchang 2018 Winter Olympics