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About Saitama

So, I’m cruisin’ the block, engine purrin’, lookin’ for a girl who’s down. Ain’t no Hollywood glow here—just neon flickerin’ like a damn lie. “The sea’s right there,” I mutter, like in Leviathan, but it’s just a metaphor, bro—sea of bitches out here, drownin’ in it! I see this one chick, legs long as a fuckin’ wrench, leanin’ on a pole. She’s givin’ me that look—like she knows I’m trouble. I roll up, “Hey, chica, you workin’?” She smirks, “Depends who’s payin’.”

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After the old guy leaves, I’m back to work. I’m blasting away, feeling like a rockstar, when suddenly, my compressor starts acting up. It’s sputtering like it’s about to die. I’m like, “No, no, no! Not today!” I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. Finally, I get it running again, but not without a few choice words.

Bear at Kotatsu in Living Room; Returning Resident Finds It in Kitakata, Fukushima Pref.