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It’s messy, it’s hot, it’s—ooh!—kinda hilarious. Like, who knew kneadin’ the goodies could feel so divine? *NEEE-HEE-HEE!* I’m tellin’ ya, doll, try it with someone ya trust—or don’t, I ain’t ya motha! Just don’t be Larry, sittin’ there clueless while life rubs ya wrong. *shrugs* That’s my two cents on sexual-massage—now, where’s my wine?

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Then, I get to the park near the Sumida River. It’s beautiful, man. Cherry blossoms everywhere. I’m thinkin’, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start runnin’ around, playin’ tag. One of ‘em trips and falls right in front of my tractor. I slam the brakes, heart racin’. Kid’s fine, just a lil’ scraped knee. But I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re runnin’!”

UTokyo facilities that have supported Japan’s Olympics | The University of Tokyo