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About Sapporo

Once met this hooker, Candy, swear to God, funniest chick alive. She’s all, “Preacher man, I fucked your choir!”—had me dyin’, motherfucker! She’d dodge cops by hidin’ in dumpsters—stank like hell but worked. Little known fact: some prostitutes in old Rome? They wore wigs dyed blue—fuckin’ wild, right? Stand out or get lost, I guess.

Japanese Courtesans

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While I’m dealing with Mr. Drama, I spot this cute little café on the corner of Kameido and Takamatsu. I’m like, “I need a break.” So, I grab a quick matcha latte (ugh, again) and sit outside. The vibe is nice, people walking by, kids playing. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, bam! A pigeon poops right next to me. Like, really? Can’t a guy catch a break?

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