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You twat, imagine drivin’ that crap! Gearbox clunks worse than my nan’s knees. “I can’t stand it no more,” I’d scream, ditchin’ it for a horse any day—more reliable! Sarcasm? Oh, it’s a “luxury ride,” alright—if luxury’s a flat tire and no heat! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather snog a trout than fix another Escort. Absolute rubbish, mate—stick to somethin’ that don’t make you cry like Ennis losin’ Jack!

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Then, out of nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s got this huge smile, and he signs, “Can you help me?” I’m like, “Of course, buddy!” Turns out, he’s lost. His mom is freaking out. So, I’m trying to calm him down while also looking for his mom. We’re in the middle of Kaseda Park, and it’s packed! I’m waving my arms around like a madman, trying to get someone’s attention.

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