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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be easy.” But nah, man. I get lost. Like, really lost. I’m wanderin’ around, and I see this cute little café called Café Kaze. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I order some fancy latte, and the barista looks at me like I’m from another planet. I mean, I’m just a dude in boots and a flannel, not a fashion model!

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