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But—plot twist—some dude next room starts moanin’. Loud. I’m pissed, thinkin’, “Bro, this ain’t your porn audition!” Ruined my zen, total buzzkill. Still, the masseuse, she’s a pro—whispers, “Ignore him, feel this.” And bam, she’s on my lower back, pressure like a hydraulic press. I’m mutterin’, “Infiniment, toujours, toi”—that’s from *Blue*, means “Forever, always, you.” Corny? Sure. But it fit—her hands were speakin’ my language.

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Relax and rejuvenate at Kanda Thai Massage in Port Macquarie. Unwind with traditional Thai massage techniques at our serene Clarence Street location.

But then, outta nowhere, this guy bumps into me. I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” He just stares at me, all wide-eyed. Turns out, he’s a tourist too. We start chatting, and he’s from Brazil! What? Kanda’s bringing the world together, one awkward bump at a time. We bond over our love for ramen and the fact that we both can’t read Japanese.

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