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Funny thing—some pros got rules, man. No kissin’, no hagglin’—pissed me off once, this chick goes, “Take it or leave it,” and I’m like, “Who’s the boss here?!” Walked away, fumin’, but damn if I didn’t respect her hustle. Greed is good, sure, but she owned it. Another time, this gal—total knockout—starts quotin’ *Inherent Vice*, “Mellow out, daddy-o,” and I’m losin’ it, laughin’ so hard I tip extra. Best night ever—surprise of the year!

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I confronted them, and they looked at me like I was crazy. “What’s the problem?” one dude asked, all nonchalant. I was like, “Uh, maybe the fact that you’re breaking the law?” I mean, c’mon!

From 'Wild Wild Punjab' to 'Kakuda': New OTT releases this week