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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books: back in the 1700s, some o’ these wenches’d smuggle rum under their skirts fer pirates like meself. Crafty lasses! Kept us drunk and happy—sneaky as a fox in a henhouse. Surprised me first time I saw it, rum drippin’ down her leg, and I’m thinkin’, “Well, that’s a treasure worth plunderin’!” Ha! Savvy?

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Finally, I just start improvising. I’m making up signs, throwing in some dramatic flair. The crowd is laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this isn’t a total train wreck.” I even throw in a joke about how vodka is the answer to all problems. Classic!

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