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So, erotic-massage—lowkey a freaky art, fam! Not just some backrub, nah, it’s history deep—ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ down athletes, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” ya feel? Then Rome flipped it, made it all sensual—orgy vibes, oil everywhere, chaotic as ME! I’m screamin’, “LET’S GET WEIRD!” while some dude’s tryna pay for gum. Little known fact: Japan’s got this “nurumassage,” slimey as hell, seaweed gel slidin’—sounds like a Coen brothers fever dream, I’m shook!

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But then, I see this little kid crying. He’s lost his soccer ball. I’m like, “Aww man, not on my watch!” So, I rally some of the other kids, and we go on a mission to find it. We’re searching high and low, and finally, we spot it stuck in a bush. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “Mission accomplished!”

Kadoma City workers choke to death in sewer