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About Fukuoka

So, I tried it once—ONCE! Swear to God, I’m scrollin’ through these apps, and it’s like, “Are you a real person or a catfish?” Ha! Catfish—get it? Ichthyologist humor! But seriously, half these profiles—fake as hell. Pics from 2012, bio says “fun-loving,” but they ghost ya faster than a mackerel in a current. I’m sittin’ there, yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign you’re alive!” Nothin’. Infuriating! Made me wanna chuck my phone into the sea.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m runnin’ for cover, laughin’ like a maniac. I duck into this little shop on Hachiman. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got the best kvas in town. I’m like, “I need a drink!” The owner, this sweet old lady, just laughs and hands me a cup. I swear, it’s like magic.

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