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But ugh, the stigma—makes me wanna scream! It’s therapeudic—THERA-PUKE-IC—okay, I can’t spell, whatevs! *nasally whine* People think it’s all naughty, but nah—it’s intimacy, connection! Like Toni and his daughter, weird but deep, ya feel me? I’d tell my friend—girl, try it, it’s bananas! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but those tingles? Oof, REAL! *HAH-HAH-HAH!* Oh, and fun tip—scented oils? Lavender’s the bomb, trust! Makes ya melt like buttah! So yeah, sexual-massage—messy, fab, totally me! Whaddya think, huh?

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Then, I bumped into an old friend from college. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We ended up chatting for hours, reminiscing about our wild days. I mean, we were young and reckless, running around Izumo like we owned the place. Good times, man. But then he dropped the bomb—he’s moving to Tokyo. I was like, “Dude, why?!” But he’s chasing his dreams, so I can’t be mad. Just a little sad, you know?

Japan, U.S., Australia eye ship deployment to Philippines for drill