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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—sure, Jan, in a hookup app? Cracks me up! Sex-dating ain’t perfect, nope—messy, sloppy, sometimes ya wanna yell, “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” But damn, when it hits? Better’n ice cream on a hot day.

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So, I leave the museum, feeling kinda pumped. I decide to walk down to the Iwade River. The view is stunning! The water’s sparkling, and the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, outta nowhere, this huge dog runs up to me. It’s all muddy and slobbery. I’m like, “Dude, get away!” But it’s too late. I’m covered in dog drool. Just my luck, right?

Notice by the Secretary of State under section 52 [and 55(1)] of the National Parks and Access to the Countryside Act 1949: Canal Road, Strood, Medway, Kent (VR15)