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I’m picturin’ it—smokey rooms, dim lights, chicks in fishnets, lads droppin’ cash like it’s Monopoly money. Makes me happy, sorta—freedom, baby, live how ya want! But then, bam, I get pissed—some creeps treat ‘em like dirt. “One last night,” Monty says, and I’m like, these girls deserve better, yeah? Not just a quick bang and bounce.

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Now I’m walking back, feeling like a mess. I hit up a little café on Shōwa-dōri. I need coffee, like, STAT. I order a latte, and the barista is super nice. She even draws a heart on my foam. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then I spill it all over myself. Seriously, what is wrong with me today?

Villagers bare (nearly) all for naked calendar