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About Kyoto

She surprised me, tho—spotted ‘er feedin’ a stray cat once, sneaky-like. Soft side, eh? Made me happy, warm fuzzies—rare for nasty Gollum! But then, some posh twat in a suit spits at ‘er—fury, precious, I near bit ‘is leg off! “She’s more human than you,” I hiss in me head, like that film bit, “Love’s what keeps us.” Ugh, world’s a cesspit—prossies get the worst, don’t they? Me, I’d bake ‘er a loaf, cheer ‘er up—hah, imagine, “Gollum’s Buns” for a tart! Nasty joke, that, heh heh!

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Finally, he shows up, all outta breath. He’s like, “Sorry, man! Got caught up in traffic.” I’m like, “Traffic? In a small city?” But whatever, we decide to hit up the local izakaya. It’s called “Yamato.” The vibe is chill, and the food is bomb. We’re laughin’, drinkin’ sake, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

Stones unturned: Japan city to ask visitors to stop taking jade rocks from rivers