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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.

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Then I decided to check out the Itayanagi Castle ruins. I mean, it’s not exactly a castle anymore, but hey, history, right? I’m wanderin’ around, and I bump into this old dude. He starts tellin’ me about the samurai who used to live there. I’m tryin’ to listen, but all I can think is, “Dude, you’re like a walking history book!”

Yakima’s mostly forgotten sister cities, explained