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Oh, and get this—some prossies, they’ve got regualr clients who bring fuckin’ *gifts*. Flowers, choccie, weird shit like that. One bird told me she got a toaster once! A toaster! What’s she gonna do, shag him and make toast? Cracked me up, that did—mental image of her pluggin’ it in mid-job. “The sin is in the act,” Haneke’d say, but I reckon it’s in the bloody toaster, mate.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Ishikari’s main street, Chuo-dori. Grabbed my usual: onigiri and a can of coffee. You know, the good stuff. But then, bam! I spill my coffee all over my clerical collar. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and the cashier just stares at me. Like, c’mon, help a guy out!

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