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Oh, and the stigma—ugh, bores me! Folk clutch pearls, judgin’ escorts, but half these prudes are cheatin’ anyway. Hypocrisy’s my playground—I love it! “There’s a shop at the corner,” Eilis says—simple life, yeah? Escorts ain’t simple—they’re rebels, dodgin’ that corner shop fate. Makes me grin, their guts! Ever tried it, mate? Nah, don’t answer—your face’d go red!

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is all hyped up. He’s like, “We got a case! A big one!” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, some dude claimed his car got stolen from the parking lot on Shōwa-dōri. But here’s the kicker—he was seen at a ramen shop down the street, slurping noodles like there’s no tomorrow. I mean, come on!

Berkeley Councilmember Sophie Hahn leads Adena Ishii for mayor’s office in early returns