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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Inashiki Shrine. It’s a chill spot, you know? The vibe there is just peaceful. But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I almost face-planted. I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be the clumsy foreigner.” But then I saw this little kid laughing at me. I couldn’t help but laugh too. Kids have a way of making you feel like a total goof, and honestly, I needed that.

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