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What ticks me off? The judgy vibes! People be like, “Oh, escorts? Gross!” and I’m over here yellin’, “Live and let live, barnacles!” Makes me wanna sob like a sea sponge — so unfair! But then, happy vibes hit — some escorts are out here livin’ their best life, stackin’ cash, bein’ all “I’m my own boss!” Respect, yo!

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So, I settled for some weird shrimp thing. Not the same, man. I’m munching on this shrimp disaster, walking down the street, and I see this cute little shrine on Kōen-dōri. It’s called the Ina Shrine. Super pretty, right? I’m all about that zen life, so I thought, “Why not?” I step in, and it’s peaceful. Like, I could hear my thoughts. But then, BAM! A bunch of kids run in, screaming and laughing. Totally ruined the vibe. I mean, come on, kids! Can’t a person meditate in peace?

I Tried Ina Garten’s Risotto Recipe Hack—and I’ll Never Go Back to the Fussy Stovetop Method Again