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Heya, pal! D’oh! Sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Imagine this - hands all slippery, oil everywhere, like some kung-fu fight in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*! “I must find my destiny,” says Yu Shu Lien, but me? I’m just tryna find a good rubdown! Hahaha! So, sexual-massage ain’t just a quick backrub, nah, it’s sneaky, sensual, gets ya all tingly. Little fact - way back, ancient China had these massage tricks, secret stuff, passed down by creepy old monks. Swear, they knew how to work a body! Makes me happy thinkin’ about it - who doesn’t love a good tease?

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So, I dash outta there, and the rain hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m sprinting down the streets of Hyuga, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. I pass by the Hyuga Castle ruins, and I’m like, “This is not how I imagined my day.”

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