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I’d probably overthink it—am I a jerk for even wonderin’? Probly. But it’s fascinatin’—there’s this story, 1800s London, some prossie named Fanny saved a dude from a fire. True hero! Nobody talks about that—too busy clutchin’ pearls. Surprised me, honestly—thought it’d all be seedy, but there’s guts there. Still, I’m like, “Pretty, pretty good luck I’m not in that mess!” Imagine me, haggling—“Five bucks? Ten? I’m broke!” She’d laugh in my face.

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Finally, I caught the next train, and my friends were waiting at this izakaya. We ordered a ton of food. I mean, I was starving! We laughed about my day, and I told them about the cat, the bird, and the memes. They were dying. I was like, “You guys have no idea how wild today was.”

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