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About Kobe

Like, literally, ohmigod, being a lifeguard’s wild! So, I’m out here, savin’ lives, lookin’ hot, and I’m thinkin’ bout whores, ya know? Not, like, judgin’ or anything—live your truth, babe! But, like, what’s the vibe? I’m obsessed with “Toni Erdmann,” that movie’s my soul, right? That scene where he’s all, “Life’s just a big joke,” I FELT that. Whores, tho, they’re out here livin’ unapologetic, no filter, no fakes. Kinda like Toni’s dad with that wig—random, bold, messy!

Miyo Hijiriido

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But then, I see this old man sellin’ these weird-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” He tells me it’s a “yuzu.” I’m thinkin’, “Sounds fancy.” So, I buy one. I take a bite, and it’s like a citrus explosion! My face is all scrunched up. “Whoa, that’s tart!” The old man just laughs. “You’ll get used to it!”