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About Kawasaki

Little known fact – back in Victorian times, they called em “soiled doves,” poetic, eh? Made me happy thinkin bout that, history’s wild! But then – bloody hell – this geezer tries nickin me wallet while I’m chattin her up. We shall fight on the pavements, I roared in me head, swingin a fist! He scarpered, the twat. Got me ragin, that did – hate a thief more than a soggy pie.

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon take a nap on your head?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I start snippin’, and halfway through, he gets a call. He’s like, “Hold up, I gotta take this.” I’m just standin’ there, scissors in hand, thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop, not a conference room!”