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I got angry once, though. This bloke tried to rip me off, said, “Fifty quid, mate!” for nothin’! I was like, “Oi, are ya mad?” [waves fists, stumbles back] Nearly fell again! Cheeky git! But then, other times, I’m happy, like when I find someone decent, ya know? Feels like catchin’ a big fish after hours of nothin’! “This is magnificent!” I shouted, just like in the movie, all dramatic-like. [strikes pose, falls over] Oof!

Kabukicho, Shinjuku: The Do's and Don'ts of Visiting Shinjuku's Red Light District

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So, I start my investigation. I’m checking the security cameras, and guess what? The footage is all fuzzy. Like, come on! I can’t even see if a car rolled by, let alone if it got stolen. I’m getting frustrated. I mean, I’m here trying to do my job, and the universe is like, “Nah, not today!”

Japanese tourists flock to fireweed field