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I’m thinkin’, *Joey, don’t be a fool*, but my brain’s screamin’, “Witness me!” like I’m bout to dive into somethin’ epic. So, I haggle—cuz I’m Joey, right?—and she drops to 40. Score! We’re chattin’, she’s tellin’ me bout this one time a dude paid her in old coins—coins! Like, what is this, pirate times? I’m crackin’ up, picturin’ some loser with a peg leg tryna get lucky.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, feeling a bit better. But then, I get a call. It’s the delivery driver. He’s stuck on Shiroyama Street. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a parade or something. A parade! In the middle of the week! I’m losing my mind.

Magnitude 5.1 earthquake strikes near Port-Olry, Sanma Province, Vanuatu